5 & 6. MLA Format & Control of Sentence-Level Work

5. MLA Format.

I’m no stranger to the MLA format, I’ve been using it since high school. I’m also happy to say that even though all of my other classes that have writing assignments ask for APA format- not MLA- I haven’t mixed up the two formats in my work. All of my essays this semester have contained: 

  • Times New Roman font.
  • Font size 12.
  • Double spaced.
  • Last name, page number (right aligned).
  • Centered title.
  • Header.
  • Separate works cited page.
Essay #3 Example of Page Number, Header, and Title.

Essay #3 Works Cited Page.

6. Control of Sentence Structure.

Local revision is my favorite thing to do. Reading something and nitpicking the absolute hell out of it makes reading interesting (maybe that’s why published works are so boring to me…). My grandmother’s a speech pathologist, so correct grammar was nailed into my dad, which was in turn nailed into me. So I don’t have much room to grow there…

But I have a lot to say about my writing process. I have a lot of ideas that don’t have anything to do with each other and no real way to relate it to required texts. My initial planning phase for essays is just a huge brain dump into a document so that I can better parse through my thoughts and see if there is anything workable among them. But before I can start writing, I have to take a real, official stance to the topic through my thesis, and I’ve struggled for a long time with thesis crafting. I mentioned this in the first learning outcome, but I think it’s applicable here too. Being able to clearly pick out claims within my thesis is the most important thing for my outline. 

Thesis from Essay #3 + Planning.

This is my favorite example from this semester of my writing process. All my first drafts have two or three pages of just writing and excess ideas that I didn’t end up using in the final draft. 

Screenshot of Notes from Essay #1.

This screen shot is just a small example of what I need to do to get all of my thoughts organized and cohesive enough to start actually writing. See what I said about color coding? Maybe my obsessive compulsive tendencies are starting to peek through here…

3. Annotations & Reading Responses

I know I struggle with active reading and note-taking of important and relevant information. I tend to take too many notes, which is something I’m trying to improve in other classes. While I didn’t find the Brief Guide to Annotations particularly helpful, it did give me inspiration for better note-taking. I love color-coding things if you couldn’t tell from my Barclay paragraphs from the previous learning outcome. I think having a key to better dissecting texts is going to be my strong suit, finding important bits while still acknowledging the things that catch my attention- relevant or not.

Even though I really enjoyed reading and listening to DFW’s This is Water speech my annotations of it are messy, unorganized, and a little off-topic (as shown above). Even though my annotations are… Subpar? I know that I was actively engaged with this text. I was listening to the speech at the same time I was reading it, and that felt so much more interactive than what I’m used to. I have to watch TV with subtitles or else I can’t pay attention to the dialogue and I miss things. I think seeing that clearly translated to reading is an interesting and possibly essential discovery for me and my future as a reader with ADHD.

Physical Annotations of DFW’s This is Water (Page 2).

For Ross Gay’s piece, I think I did a more effective job of both actively reading and taking annotations that are relevant to the topic at hand. Having multiple colors at my disposal was incredibly helpful for organizing my thoughts. While I do wish I had more room in the margins to write, I think having that limited space forces me to condense my thoughts. Nothing’s stopping me from continuing or elaborating on another sheet of paper.

Physical Annotations of Ross Gay’s Inciting Joy (Page 1).
Physical Annotations of Gay’s Inciting Joy (Page 2 + 3).

2. Integrating Sources

I’m a sucker for formulas, and I’ve never had a good formula from high school for quotation integration. I am a big fan of the Barclay paragraph formula; it scratches my brain in just the right way. The Barclay paragraph formula is my favorite for integrating quotes to support my claim. Like most skills, this writing style takes practice- and I’ve had plenty of that. I’ve included the color-coded key for highlighting the individual components of the Barclay formula as well as a paragraph taken right from my second essay.

Color-coded key + Barclay paragraph from Essay #2.

As you can see, the orange and blue bits are short and need more than a little work… The paragraph works, but it’s a little shorter than I’d like and needs better and stronger connections to both my thesis and the two separate texts used. Here is a paragraph I took from my third essay (using the same key).

Barclay paragraph from Essay #3.

The introduction and transition parts have gotten meatier and more specific- which can only be a good thing.  My quick explanations of the text in the specific paragraph have gotten better (no more long-winded rambles that really don’t fit), and I’ve improved how I connect the texts to one another. I think I’ve improved greatly in using not only the Barclay method when incorporating quotes, but also paraphrasing (while citing them properly), and working them neatly and nicely into appropriate places in my essays.

1. Revision

I am confident in my local revision abilities. My sentence structure and attention to detail have always been a strong suit of mine, so for this learning objective, I am going to focus on global revisions as I have learned and grown the most in this area. My thesis building has improved substantially since September and the first assigned essay.

Thesis for Essay #1.

I’ve been taught to be as clear as possible in your writing to repeat the question or prompt in your thesis along with your answer or stance. While this thesis is fine, my second essay’s thesis is not anywhere near as strong. 

Thesis for Essay #2.

Here I am again, repeating the question in my answer which is a habit I don’t think I’ll ever be able to break. But I think my thesis for my third essay is the strongest- which I suppose is the point of this project, to see how much I’ve grown in these past few months.

Thesis for Essay #3 + Outline.

My past two essays’ theses have been shorter and more succinct, which is what I’m used to. Getting out of my comfort zone with this thesis building only made my essay stronger, so I will absolutely be utilizing what I’ve learned in English this semester for any future writing assignments.

To briefly touch on local revision, I think my initial planning stage has improved. As you can see in my third essay’s screenshot, in my outline before I wrote I had three clear topics to talk about as well as a direction to head in for my counterargument paragraph.

Ross Gay Reading Response

  • Respond, in your own words, and referencing your own experiences, to the validity of Gay’s question: “What if joy and pain are fundamentally tangled up with one another?” //

I love this quote, it’s such a great example of the saying “two sides of the same coin.” Absolutely the two go hand in hand, you can’t have one without the other. Light and darkness, yin and yang, joy and sorrow.

  • Gay advocates that we “lay down our swords and invite sorrow in.” What does he mean? Do you agree? Why or why not? //

When Gay says to “lay down our swords” he’s telling us to surrender, to accept that sorrow is a natural, unavoidable emotion. Yes, it will feel uncomfortable and unpleasant, but when it’s ready it will leave and you will be okay. Yes, it may come back, but you will be okay.

  • What, very specifically, incites joy in your life? Make a specific/descriptive list of at least ten things: the moment just before my favorite band walks on stage; walking through crunchy leaves; the feeling after a difficult but fruitful conversation, etc. Be as specific as possible. //

I don’t know that I can give you ten examples. As someone with major depressive disorder intense emotions- either positive or negative, are difficult to come by. But I know that I love animals, they bring me joy. I know I shared in class sitting in the giant tortoise pit, but I can share so many more times when animals have brought a smile to my face, a light to my darkness.
There was an 8-month-old alpaca named Lennox (picture attached) who needed to be harness-trained. I was more than happy to get him started, and even though he was nervous he did a great job and I was so proud.
There was a feral cat at the cat shelter I volunteer at named Jax (picture attached) who was having trouble opening up and letting people in. While we see this all the time, there was this fear in his eyes, this defeated demeanor that stuck with me. After working with him for months and we were at the petting stage, I guess I crossed a boundary when I pet near his butt. He nipped at me and then instantly backed up and looked fearful. I would never purposefully hurt an animal, and I understood that Jax was just setting a boundary with me. But when I held out my hand and he let me pet him again showed me that he was finally beginning to trust, maybe for the first time. He gave me slow blinks, nuzzling my hand, and I did my best to reassure him that setting boundaries and communicating is okay.
I remember my first solo animal rescue, a hypothermic skunk. In the state of CT it’s illegal to house a skunk because of their frequency for rabies (so don’t tell anyone…) and no one I called would take him. So I did, I put him in a cat carrier on top of a heating pad with a bowl of warm water in my garage. And a couple of hours later he wandered away on his own. The first rule of animal rehab is to not name the animal so that you don’t get attached, so I only named him after he left- Frosty (picture attached).
I hope this suffices…

  • What do you notice about your list? What does the list reveal about you and the ways in which you engage with the world? //

Well, obviously, animals bring me joy. Helping animals brings me joy. Being around animals brings me joy. I love animals, and I feel sorrow and grief when I lose one. Working in rehab is hard, but loss is a part of life. “It hurts just as much as it is worth.” And that pain means it’s worth it.

Lennox
Lennox
Lennox
Jax
Jax
Jax
Frosty
Frosty

Zadie Smith Reading Response

  • Who is Zadie Smith, and why should we pay attention to her essay?//

Zadie Smith is an English novelist, essayist, and short story writer. She became a tenured professor in the creative writing department at New York University in 2010.

  • In what ways does Smith “distinguish between joy and pleasure” and how do these distinctions match up with your own interpretations of the two experiences?//

I think Smith’s clearest differentiation of pleasure and joy comes on page 333. “I “have” pleasure, it is a feeling I want to experience and own. A beach holiday is a pleasure. A new dress is a pleasure. But on that dance floor I was joy, or some small piece of joy, with all these hundreds of people who were also a part of joy.” Here she differentiates joy as a state of being and pleasure being something possessive or to have something. While this is a pretty clear cut way to see it, I think it’s much more blurred than she’s presenting. I think the two could very well go hand in hand, but the idea of being vs possessing is an interesting take that I’m inclined to agree with.

  • According to Smith, why is joy difficult to manage, and live with? Do you agree with her? Why or why not? Practice using a complete Quote Sandwich (utilizing a direct quote from the essay) within your response.//

(Top) Smith proposes that joy is difficult to live with because it is so intense that it can consume you as a while. She says, (Middle) “It doesn’t fit with the everyday. The thing no one ever tells you about joy is that it has very little real pleasure in it.” (334-335). (Bottom) Joy just can’t fit cleanly into a monotonous, normal day because of how all encompassing and strong the experience is.

  • In a well-developed paragraph, respond to the following question: What’s the value of reading about, thinking about, and discussing joy?//

I think that the value of discussing joy is so important, especially now, with all of the fear and uncertainty of our everyday lives. If we lack joy in our lives, what better way to mimic it than to talk and think about it with others?

  • How does Smith’s essay overlap or connect or contradict previous readings from this semester?//

The most prominent thing that connects these readings to me is the way they’re written. They’re so personal and individual and experiential. I think that might be why I have a harder time relating to them… As much as I enjoy this kind of writing, it’s hard to relate to and form and argument around. But that does’t mean it isn’t an interesting perspective to see and hear from.

    Barclay Paragraph Practice

    (C1) People are self-centered, we see this over and over again in TV, in books, in our day-to-day communications, and in our personal relationships. (I) Wallace says (Q1) “We rarely think about this sort of natural, basic self-centredness because it’s so socially repulsive. […] It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth.” (2). (E) Our ability to register other people’s emotions and feelings isn’t something we’re born with, it’s something we learn and get better at with practice. (T) As Bloom illustrates, (Q2) “Although we might intellectually believe that the suffering of our neighbor is just as awful as the suffering of someone living in another country, it’s far easier to empathize with those who are close to us, those who are similar to us,” (2). (C2) As we get more proficient in our abilities to acknowledge other people, we start small (and some people stay there). It’s up to us to work at being kind, to work at looking outward, and to have other people’s completely individualized lives resonate with us.